I cut off all the mushy stuff :) After yesterday I needed to hear this from him...I needed to know that he still loves me SO MUCH because I have been SO GROUCHY!

Thank you friends for all of your well wishes this morning! 35 ain't so bad, look at all the things I have accomplished!

35...already.

This is it my last post as a 34 year old. I started to write this post because of a picture that hangs on our fridge. Mr. Fish hung it there, it is me when I was a little girl maybe 7. It reminds him of Dory.

Where did my life go? How did this happen? Just yesterday I ran out the front door of my house and my Mom said BE HOME BEFORE THE STREET LIGHTS TURN ON! I ran track in high school, I went to college a million miles from home all by myself. There are things about me that no one knows. I try to be happy everyday although sometimes especially lately it has been very difficult. I have wonderful friends! Some from birth, grade school, high school, college, jobs, the kid's school, the kid's activities. I am so blessed! From my wonderful husband and my 3 most precious children down to my 1952 home that could use a little attention.

I wanted a lot from my life. I have gotten a lot from life. When I was young I guess I thought by 35 I would have everything I ever wanted and I do. But I am not the person I had hoped. I use bad words and I yell...a lot, came my 3rd child came my loss of patience. I have let my body go, not that it was some great body but it was mine and it was ok.

Over the next few weeks you will notice some changes (I HOPE!) in me:

~I am going to start taking time to exercise!

~NO BAD LANGUAGE!

~Try to be more patient even if it means taking a lot of time outs for myself.

~No yelling....that's it just no yelling.

Thanks for stopping by to read about me and yes tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life! Stick with me kid, it will be a heck uva ride!

Happy Birthday to you Dory!!

1 month old

9 months old


9 years old.



August 24, 2000
8 lbs.
21 inches
7:33 p.m.
My water broke at 2:30 a.m. and 17 hours later I had my miracle.


How did we do it? How did we blow through 9 years so quickly? Just yesterday I was waking my husband to tell him I was pretty sure my water broke. Just yesterday he drove like a bat out of you know where to get us to the hospital. Just yesterday I wanted another baby, maybe 10 more, the minute I saw her look at me with those eyes that said I have been waiting a long time to meet you. Just yesterday, I became a Mommy. This sweet little person gave me a new name, a new outlook on life, a clearer view than I ever thought possible. This is my girl, my only daughter. What a blessing she is. Even when she gets her sassy mouth going I look at her and can see that sweet, innocent little person she will always be in my eyes.


I love you V. You are more special to me than you realize. I am so happy that God picked me to be your Mommy.

13 years ago today I said goodbye.

On August 4th 1996 we had just come home from a day at the lake. There was a note on the tv that said...Ron has been in an accident go to the hospital. We joked and joked about how we were going to find him. Broken leg? Broken arm? Something more serious? When we arrived we heard his parents saying things to him like "come on Ronnie, talk to us." What? He can't talk? Needless to say the next 2 weeks were full of ups and downs, highs and lows. On Thursday August 15th he had improved enough to move from ICU. Within 2 hours of leaving ICU he had taken a turn for the worse and was back. 13 years ago today we said goodbye. With Mr. Fish and I and his family surrounding him he drew his last breath. Our dear friend Ron.

Mr. Fish and I got married on November 2nd 1996 and Ron was to be our best man, he never made it there on that day because on August 18, 1996 a drunk driver took his life. Belinda was her name and she had been drinking and was driving 80 mph in a 35 mph without any headlights at 2 a.m. She made a decision that rocked all of us to the core.

We named our beloved Dory after him. We keep in touch with his brother (Mr. Fish's really good friend) and his wife. We keep in touch with his daughter who was 4 at the time of the accident. His parents have both since passed away.

On our way to the zoo today (even though it was so hard for me) I told Dory and Crush the story of our friend Ron. They were both really taken aback, they couldn't believe it. They had a lot of questions, I have a lot of questions.

Mr. Fish has never had a best friend since Ron died. If you ask him today who his best friend is, he will tell you it is me. I love that but also it makes me sad because he doesn't feel like Ron's shoes could ever be filled and this is why he hasn't tried.

This has been an emotional day for me, always is. Today though Mr. Fish isn't here to comfort me, he is out of town. He called tonight and we talked about Ron for just a few minutes as we do every year. Some may forget but not us.

Vacation...all I ever wanted.

So here we are! We starting planning this trip around Christmas. It was going to involve more than just us. Mr. Fish's sister and her husband and their 2 blessings and my MIL. We all had good jobs and it would work. Unfortunately the economy took a turn for the worse and it put our vacation in jeopardy. Mr. Fish and I decided to make it work so we pinched pennies and gave up night's out and ate a lot of mac and cheese, here we are! We cashed in our change jar and the kids did without things that normally we would have splurged on...all for the greater good :)

Beside the bat incident last night and the bird incident today (which is a post best left for later) this trip has been perfection. Watching Mr Fish with the kids, with the fish, and with the kids fishing make my day, my week, my life. I told Mr Fish if I died tomorrow I would be the happiest girl in the world. This to me is perfection.

Sorry I am mostly unavailable as I am mostly stealing internet from someone on a non secure network for less than 10 minutes a day.

Remember me and I will be back soon.

Thank you and good night.

This day.

There she is with her purple/waterproof (PRAISE THE LORD!) cast!

We put these goggles on Nemo and told him to drive it was hilarious!

This day. It has not been good. If I used the word sucked I would say...this day (s words). We went to school to pay our tuition or put a down payment on tuition and it all fell apart. Let me back up. First of all I took all 3 of my blessings to get Dory's cast put on and they weren't bad but just antsy, it took about 2 hours. So when we went to school, the kids were fussing, the baby was crying, the people were talking, I had to write out 10 checks (lunch, HSA, school uniform, gym uniform, tuition deposit, book fee). I was just about to leave the building when Crush grabbed Dory's shirt and she fell to the ground and got up and punched him. YIKES! I told them they will be lucky if the principal doesn't call tomorrow to say...don't come back :) So we got in the car and I cried. I came home and Mr. Fish says to Dory and Crush, "what did you do to your MOM?" Then he apologized to me that I have to do a lot of things on my own, he says it is not fair to me. Have I mentioned how much I heart him? This day....s words but in some way...was a lot of fun with very few tears and that is the mark of an ok day...right?

Yesterday...all my troubles seemed so far away.

Yesterday morning at this time my biggest concern was how to get to the park in Valparaiso to meet with friends. I printed a map and that was handled.

We went to beautiful Valparaiso, Indiana yesterday. It was a beautiful day. We were having a beautiful time. Until Mason got his football stuck in the tree. Then my little princess took on the monkey bars and they won. I was standing near friends talking and watching her cross the bars like she has done so many times since she learned how when she was 6. We are park people. Before school, after school, early in the morning, late in the evening, sometimes even in the snow. My children have probably been to 100 different parks in their short lives. So there I stand chatting and holding Nemo when I see her fall right on her back. I gave Nemo to Michelle and ran over to hear her say, "ouch my wrist hurts." Ok we are good, we do broken arms, we do not do broken backs.

After going over and over in my head what to do I decided to take her to Urgent Care but she didn't want to leave :) So around 4:15 p.m. we pulled in and there was a 2 hour wait. Um not excited about that so we drove home and changed & fed Nemo and went back. The nurse took one look at her arm and said..."I don't want to write that her bone is protruding from her skin but that is what is happening."

They X-Ray'd her and said it is a closed colles fracture of the distal radius. I said broken? The Dr. says yes...broken.

Let the fun begin. I have to take them to sign them up for school today and get their school pictures taken, she is supposed to start soccer practice tonight, we are leaving for vacation on Saturday where she was planning to swim and tube and catch fish. I don't feel sorry for myself I feel sorry for her. We will be doing a lot of shopping and throwing bread to the fish.

Today at 2:00 she gets her cast and from there we will head over to the school for sign up and pictures. I called her soccer coach and told him what happened.

So today I have some new problems...still all manageable just a hurdle in the road of life.

Someday we will look back on this and laugh, right?

And now I have accidentally deleted my signature. WOW, I hope this day gets better :)