You should know....I have issues.

I have 12 nieces and nephews ranging from almost 29 to 6. When the older nieces and nephews would come for a visit (before I had kids) I would try to coax them into the bathtub and then wash their clothes. I wanted to start with a clean slate. I wanted to make sure they were clean in case my friends stopped by. Now you should know that the kids were NEVER DIRTY maybe they had spilled something on their shirt or something nothing bad enough to warrant a full cleaning. I had OCD long before OCD was cool. This continues today but on a much smaller scale.

I have been grouchy to my kids. They have been misbehaving. It's a vicious circle. I want to be the fun mom, good times, yep that's me. But like I said I have issues. We don't really make plans after school because I have to stay on routine....come home, do homework, take showers, eat dinner, play/read/hang out, then bed. Most days my big kids are showered by 5 p.m. I have a process each night and God forbid anyone get in my way. I can't really relax until things are checked off my list. I have one million lists around my house of things I need to do, places to go, items I need. I am driving myself crazy.

This doesn't mean my house is spotless every time you stop by BUT that is what I strive for. It is hard for me to sleep if I know there is debris on the kitchen cupboards or the laundry is not folded. Slowly I feel that I am doing better, I am letting some things go. Other things just eat at me. I very rarely go into the kids rooms because they are so messy (to me anyhow).

I'm not sure what the answer is? Medication? I told the bigs on the way to school this morning that we all need to try harder to be good to each other! I feel like maybe by typing this out might make my realize it is stupid. I am trying to relax...to chill out. Today I am cleaning out and washing all of my kitchen cupboards and I have so many but it will make me feel good. Cleaning makes me feel good.