I struggle...

Boy that is an understatement!

First of all....Happy 20 YEAR dating anniversary to Mr. Fish! Yep 20 years ago yesterday he asked me to be is girlfriend in the doorway at my Mom's house. Then he gave me his baseball jersey, then he kissed me on the cheek. As I watched him pull out of the driveway I said to myself....that man is gonna be my husband one day! Yea me :) Anyhow we had a great time last night at the country club and oh my gosh the food was unbelievable! So thankful for good friends who celebrate our small marriage victories with us. As our friend Jeff said last night....we could be celebrating a divorce so we should celebrate every milestone :) Love them all! Great friends!

I struggle daily with the working Mom from home role. Do I clean or bill? Do I go to the park or run credit cards? Do I go to the zoo or make money for my employer?

We moved to this side of Indiana in January of 2000. We just found out 3 weeks before moving that Dory would be joining our family :) We both work for the same company. I worked in the office from 1/2000-11-2008 when we had Nemo. I was then given a great opportunity, working from home. No daycare all summer for the bigs, Nemo has never even seen a daycare. After Mr. Fish and I talked it over we decided it would be perfect for me to work from home. I was thankful and appreciative and felt so blessed! Summer 2009 was absolute perfection, I would my balance and it worked great! I felt awesome about always being with the kids and again that Nemo never had to go to daycare is amazing! I have always been able to adapt to situations, but this one...not so much. Fast forward to Summer 2010. YIKES! The bigs are bigger and need to be more places and are involved in more and want everything :) Nemo is mobile and running and jumping and swinging and can't stay put. I used to be able to make a call for work and they could hold him back and happy....now not so much! Lots of time when I am on the phone with a customer he is on my lap chewing on the staple remover or writing on my desk with Sharpies!

This is my dilemma...how do I balance this all? How do I do all the housework (THERE IS A LOT!) and entertain 3 children interested in completely different things, maintain a full time job and still be smiling at the end of the day when Mr. Fish comes home from work. The answer is I DON'T and I HAVEN'T! I am crying a lot and yelling more and inches from a nervous breakdown daily.

So this is my call for saving! Grandma please take these kids for the weekend! Yep even Nemo who has never been away from me overnight. I need a break, I need to recharge. I need to remember how blessed I am and absence DEFINITELY makes the heart grow fonder! I went from room to room this morning sitting on their beds and looking at Nemo's crib thinking how many people in the world would give EVERYTHING to have 3 healthy, beautiful, smart children. And then I closed the door and walked out. Goal for tomorrow? Just being thankful for my life, because in a blink of an eye....it could all be gone.

Done feeling sorry for myself. Sorry for feeling sorry for myself. Ready to move on and make these last 30 days of this summer vacation awesome!

So thankful for this break and this chance to appreciate our blessings!

Enjoy this day! Praise the LORD for what you have and remember:

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you! Ain't that the truth :)