Today would have been our first ob appointment....

Except God had other plans.

July 26, 2010 that's when we found out. Mr. Fish was excited, I was in awe but yep we were going to have one more.

Right away we put all of our blessings in God's hands...they are just on loan to us.

On August 18, 2010 God took our 4th blessing home. Due March 27, 2011. Her name would have been Joy.

We lost a great love. But for the sake of the kids not knowing we trudged on with our bright smiles and cried when they slept.

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift. 2 Corinthians 9:15

Our girl V turns 10...

It is unbelievable to me that 10 years ago today Dory made me a Mommy and Mr. Fish a Daddy. In 10 years I have made countless mistakes, wiped tears, cleaned scrapes and loved more than I ever thought possible.

Dory was in God's plan but not in ours. She was a surprise blessing. Born just 24 short hours before my own birthday. It was the greatest birthday ever when I turned 26.

We brought her home from the hospital in a burning hot car because we didn't think babies should be in a/c :) We have tried and failed as parents and learned lessons you can not imagine. I always tell her thanks for being our trainer....because it is the oldest that paves the way for the others!

This past week has been one of the most challenging weeks of my life. I'm not ready to share yet but soon I will. Everytime I needed her support without knowing she would give me just what I needed....a hug, a kiss, a note, a smile. She has a sixth sense that is unbelievable....when you need her, she is there without even knowing she is doing good.

I can't believe tomorrow I am going to be 36 years old. The age my mother was when she had me. In high school at my track meet a girl said....oh that was nice of your Grandma to come. Looking back, I should have punched her :) Just kidding. I am happy to be 36, I am proud of the life that Mr. Fish and I have created together in the past 20 years. I am proud to be called Mommy and please know everyday I do my very best to take that job seriously. I wouldn't go back for anything. We have these battle wounds called life lessons. I have a lot of them under my belt.

How can I repay the Lord for all the good done for me? Psalm 116:12

Don't laugh at me...

I am watching High School Musical 3 with Dory and Crush while Nemo sleeps and Mr. Fish has gone out with friends.

I'm flashing back :) After we graduated from our high schools he **gasp** went away to college. I stayed at home and attended a local college. Troy and Gabrielle are in the treehouse talking about missing each other. It brings me back to when we took Mr. Fish to college and set his room up and then I....went home and he stayed :( Mr. Fish's sister let me borrow her End of the Road by Boyz to Men cd and that was the end. For 2 days I cried and cried. I was super annoying to Mr. Fish because really who wants to listen to their whiny girlfriend cry.

He is having the time of his life and I am living at home with my Mom. It was probably the hardest time in our dating life. Except for the year I decided to up and go to college in Oklahoma. That's another post.

Good night...I have to get back to my High School Musical marathon :)

Our third blessing...

What a kid! If we would have had 1,000 kids before him we still would have never been prepared. Really.

Or maybe I forgot about what a 21 month old boy is really like?

I get him out of bed in the morning and go to the bathroom....he comes in and says up and we have to sit on the toilet (me holding him) for at least 3 minutes why he babbles about dada and craca (Dory) and mimey (Crush).

I am reading a book in bed and he says to me....I play? I'm sorry you want to play with my Debbie Macomber book when our house looks like a daycare we have sooo many toys? Yep, I play?

I pour myself a glass of water. He says....I bite? What? You want a bite of my water? Yes, I bite?

Crush taught him how to line up pillows and jump from our blanket box. He sometimes jumps on a pillow smaller than his head, that hurts his head. He usually gets all of the pillows/cushions off of the couch and jumps once that happens. And then he counts.....one, two, three come out sounding more like voo, jus, ran or something like that.

I am taking in every moment of these last few days of summer break and enjoying this sweet fella who will be in a deep depression when his favorite 2 toys head off to school in just a few days.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth....store up treasures in heaven....for where your treasure is, there also will your heart be. Matthew 6:19-21